Part 6: Surround Yourself with Positivity
Energy is everything on the self-love journey. You might think you’re immune to other people’s moods, but you're not. Energy is contagious, so who you let close to you matters more than you think. Whether it’s subtle or obvious, you absorb the vibe of those around you. Your peace is priceless, and that’s why it’s so important to be intentional about who gets access to you.
Self-love doesn’t happen in isolation. It’s built, brick by brick, in the spaces you move through and the relationships you hold close. You can be doing all the right things—affirmations, journaling, therapy—but if your environment is toxic, it will constantly pull you backward.
Ever heard the phrase, “Misery loves company?” It’s a cliché for a reason. Negative people have a special talent for turning every light into a shadow. Their focus stays locked on what’s wrong, what’s missing, what’s broken. Eventually, that focus rubs off on you.
Here's the truth: Self-love can’t thrive in poisoned soil. It withers in negativity, judgment, and chaos. It blooms in peace, connection, and authenticity.
How I Shifted My Circle and Changed My Life
Honestly, most of the people around me were good people. I didn’t have a single dramatic moment where a friend betrayed me or tore down my dreams. But those people weren’t dreamers. They weren’t doers. They were surviving, stuck in scarcity. Making safe, small choices because believing in more felt too risky. And truthfully? So was I. I was stuck in my own survival mindset, rehearsing disappointment, expecting the worst, and focusing on what I lacked. I spent so much time talking about other people, men, drama, anything but my own dreams. And because of that, my circle reflected exactly where I was mentally and emotionally.
Then, once I started healing, something shifted. The old conversations, the gossip, the complaining, the "what he did or didn’t do", it all stopped interesting me. I craved more. I wanted to talk about purpose, growth, faith, possibility. And that's when the distance began. It wasn't about judging anyone else, but I realized that I couldn’t keep feeding my spirit with scarcity and expect to bloom. Even my most supportive relationships had limits. A loved one of mine has always encouraged me, but when the dreams were too big, I could feel their fear creep in,
not because they didn’t want the best for me, but because big dreams can be scary when you’ve been taught to just survive.
So I made a decision: I would find new energy, even if I had to find it alone. When I couldn’t find dreamers in my everyday life, I found them online. I read their books and followed their blogs. I purchased their materials and subscribed to their emails. Little by little, their courage cracked something open in me.
Their belief in what was possible made my own dreams feel a little less crazy, a little more real. I started gravitating toward new energy, seeking out people who were positive, ambitious, supportive. Slowly, my circle shifted. I didn’t cut everyone off overnight, but I got very clear on one thing: I could love people without letting them set the tone for my life. That shift changed everything.
I knew I needed a social detox.
I did an audit by asking myself:
Who actually supports me?
Who challenges me to grow?
Who respects my boundaries?
Who makes me feel small?
The answers were hard, but necessary. Some people had to go. Others, I had to learn to love from a distance. Not with anger, not with resentment, but with boundaries.
Your Environment Reflects What You Believe You Deserve
This might sting a little, but I’m going to say it anyway: If your environment is chaotic, uninspiring, or draining, part of you might believe that’s all you're worth.
Let that sink in.
We tolerate the energy we think we deserve. So until you believe that you’re worthy of peace, joy, and support, you’ll keep settling for less than that.
This is why curating your environment is one of the most radical forms of self-love. You’re not just protecting your peace, you’re declaring to the universe, “I am worthy of more.”
How to Surround Yourself with Positivity
Let’s break it down into powerful, actionable steps, because this isn’t just about vibes and crystals (though I love both). It’s about choosing alignment over attachment.
1. Audit Your Circle
Make a list of the 5 people you spend the most time with: friends, family, co-workers—whoever has the most consistent access to your energy.
Next, ask yourself:
How do I feel after spending time with them?
Do they celebrate my wins or minimize them?
Can I be fully myself around them?
If someone constantly brings drama, shade, or passive-aggressive energy, you don’t owe them unlimited access. You can still love people even if you need to create space from them for your own well-being.
“You are not obligated to set yourself on fire to keep others warm.”
2. Create High-Vibe Physical Spaces
Your home is your sanctuary. Your space doesn’t have to be perfect, but it should reflect who you’re becoming, not just who you’ve been.
Start with a simple declutter:
Toss or donate anything that feels heavy or tied to an old version of you.
Bring in colors, textures, and scents that make you feel alive and grounded.
Add affirmations, candles, fresh flowers, or mood lighting. Even on a budget, you can create a beautiful space.
3. Curate Your Digital Environment
Your energy isn’t just influenced by people in real life—it’s shaped by your digital diet too. Scrolling through social media isn’t just entertainment. You’re also feeding your subconscious. Unfollow accounts that make you feel less than. Mute or unfollow friends who only post negativity or drama. Flood your feeds with inspiration, empowerment, beauty, and realness. Some of the accounts you follow should make you feel like your future self is clapping for you.
4. Learn to Set Loving Boundaries
Boundaries aren’t walls, they’re the fence that protects your inner garden. You don’t have to justify your limits to anyone who’s committed to misunderstanding you.
Try this:
“I’m not available for negative venting today. Can we talk about something lighter?”
“I’m focusing on protecting my peace right now, and I need a little space.”
“I love you, but I can’t carry this with you.”
Remember: No is a full sentence. You don’t need to apologize for protecting your mental health.
Energetic Hygiene: a Self-Love Practice Most People Ignore
Think of your energy like your home: would you let just anyone come in, track mud all over the floor, open your fridge, and mess with your stuff?
No? Then stop doing it with your emotional and energetic space. You already know the importance of a physical hygiene routine. It’s time to create your energetic hygiene routine.
An energetic hygiene routine may include
Smudging your space with sage or palo santo
Taking salt baths
Doing a quick visualization to call your energy back from any place or person that drained you
Journaling to release emotional residue
Any other self-care practices that focus on cleansing your emotional and energetic palate
Every day, check in with yourself:
“What energy am I holding that doesn’t belong to me?”
The Power of Positivity—It’s More Than a Buzzword
Surrounding yourself with positivity isn’t about ignoring the hard stuff. It’s about being grounded enough to move through the hard stuff without letting it define you. It’s about choosing relationships that nourish you, spaces that soothe you, and mindsets that expand you.
When you feel safe and supported, you bloom. When you're around people who see your greatness even on your worst days, you grow faster. When your space feels sacred, your healing deepens.
Reflection: Is It Time for a Social Detox?
Before you go, ask yourself:
Who in my life pours into me, and who drains me?
What environments am I in that no longer reflect my growth?
What boundaries do I need to set to protect my peace?
What would it look like to choose radiance over routine?
Final Reminder
The people you surround yourself with can either fuel your flame or snuff it out. Choose wisely. Protect your peace like it’s sacred, because it is. And remember, you’re not here to shrink or settle. You’re here to shine. Positivity isn’t just a vibe. It’s a lifestyle. It’s a declaration of self-worth.
You are worthy of every ounce of peace, power, and possibility this life has to offer.
