Part 5: Gratitude is a Self-Love Superpower
Gratitude is one of the simplest yet most powerful ways to shift your mindset and cultivate self-love. When life feels overwhelming, gratitude acts as a reset button, shifting your focus from what’s missing to what’s already present, giving you the strength you need to carry on.
Gratitude changes your perspective, and a perspective shift can change your life.
But let’s be clear: gratitude isn’t about toxic positivity or ignoring your struggles. It’s not about settling or forcing yourself to “just be grateful.” Instead, it’s about recognizing the good, even when things are hard. It’s about knowing that no matter what, there is always something to hold onto.
When you make gratitude a daily practice, you train your brain to notice the good, which fosters abundance, joy, and self-love.
How Gratitude Saved Me During My Toughest Times
At 40 years old, my life was a mess. I was:
newly divorced
unemployed and out of savings
on the verge of eviction
Four months after my 40th birthday, my worst fear became reality when I lost my home. After 12 years in the same place, the only home my 6-year-old son had ever known, we packed up our lives and moved into my brother’s one-bedroom apartment. His living room became our new "home."
I felt like a complete failure. The guilt, shame, and sadness were crushing. It would have been so easy to spiral into despair. But instead, I made a decision. I was going to focus on what I still had, instead of everything I had lost.
Here’s what I found to be grateful for:
A safe place to stay: my brother welcomed us with open arms.
A peaceful co-parenting relationship: my ex and I were doing our best for our son.A fresh start: I had a blank canvas to rebuild my life.
Even though things weren’t perfect, I held on to these small blessings. And as I focused on the good, things slowly started to improve. By the time we moved in with my brother, I had secured a temporary job after 10 months of unemployment. The pay wasn’t great, but it was better than nothing, and I was grateful for the opportunity. Since I didn’t have rent to pay, I was able to start saving money. I missed having my own washer and dryer, but the laundromat a block away got the job done.
And then? That temporary job turned into a career I love.
The time I spent at my brother’s place allowed me to save money, and eventually, I was able to rent a beautiful apartment, one that I furnished exactly how I wanted.
Gratitude didn’t change my circumstances overnight, but it changed my perspective, and that changed everything. Instead of feeling like I was drowning, I started to see my situation as a new beginning—I had a chance to create something beautiful.
Gratitude Is Not About Perfection
Practicing gratitude doesn’t mean pretending everything is fine when it’s not. It’s about choosing to focus on what’s going well, even when life feels heavy. When you feel overwhelmed, it’s usually because your attention is locked onto everything that’s going wrong. The moment you shift to gratitude, you create space for more good things to flow in.
If you’re struggling to find something to be grateful for, start small. The things we take for granted—walking, talking, even breathing—are privileges that not everyone has, and they’re absolutely worth our gratitude.
When I’m feeling down, I pull myself out of a funk with a gratitude list. Sometimes I write down 10 things, and I feel better. Other days, I’ve filled entire sheets, listing 116 things I’m grateful for, before I feel a shift in my mood, but it’s always there, eventually.
Even if it takes a while, I always renew the realization that no matter how hard things feel, I still have so much.
How to Start a Daily Gratitude Practice
A gratitude practice is simple, but its impact is life-changing. Here are three steps to get you started:
Write down three things you’re grateful for every day.Do this in the morning to set a positive tone, or at night to reflect on the good moments. Example: “I’m grateful for my health, the sunshine today, and the love of my friends.”
Feel the gratitude deeply. Don’t just list things, immerse yourself in the feeling of appreciation. Imagine how your life would be without them, and let that amplify your gratitude. Example: Instead of stopping at “I’m grateful for my home,” elaborate on this feeling with “I feel safe and at peace in my space, and I love the warmth it provides.”
Share your gratitude with others.
One of my favorite practices is sharing three things I’m grateful for with my son before bed. We started when he was 4 years old. Now at 12, I’m amazed at how naturally gratitude flows from him—it’s a habit that has become part of who he is.
How Gratitude Changes Everything
When you focus on gratitude, your perspective shifts. You stop dwelling on what’s wrong and start noticing what’s right. And the more you focus on the good, the more good things seem to come your way. Even on the hardest days, there’s always something to appreciate, even if it’s just the fact that you made it through the day.
Start small, be consistent, and see how your outlook—and then your life—changes over time. Gratitude Isn’t Just a feel-good practice, it’s a game-changer. Gratitude teaches you to appreciate the journey, even when it’s messy. It reminds you that even in the darkest times, there is always light. And most importantly, it creates space for joy, peace, and self-love to grow.
Gratitude is powerful, but it’s only one piece of the self-love puzzle. Even with the best mindset, it’s hard to thrive if you’re surrounded by negativity.
The people you engage with, the environments you spend time in, and even the content you consume all influence how you feel about yourself. If you’re constantly absorbing negativity—whether from relationships, social media, or self-doubt—it can drown out the progress you’re making.
In Part 6, we’ll explore how to intentionally create a positive environment that nurtures your growth, strengthens your confidence, and reinforces your self-worth. Because self-love isn’t just about what you tell yourself: it’s about what you allow into your space.
How do you know if your environment is draining your energy?
What small shifts can make a big impact on your mindset?
How do you protect your peace while maintaining boundaries?
We’ll cover all this and more in the next post. Stay tuned!
Gratitude is one of the simplest yet most powerful ways to shift your mindset and cultivate self-love. When life feels overwhelming, gratitude acts as a reset button, shifting your focus from what’s missing to what’s already present, giving you the strength you need to carry on.
Gratitude changes your perspective, and a perspective shift can change your life.
But let’s be clear: gratitude isn’t about toxic positivity or ignoring your struggles. It’s not about settling or forcing yourself to “just be grateful.” Instead, it’s about recognizing the good, even when things are hard. It’s about knowing that no matter what, there is always something to hold onto.
When you make gratitude a daily practice, you train your brain to notice the good, which fosters abundance, joy, and self-love.
How Gratitude Saved Me During My Toughest Times
At 40 years old, my life was a mess. I was:
newly divorced
unemployed and out of savings, and
on the verge of eviction.
Four months after my 40th birthday, my worst fear became reality when I lost my home. After 12 years in the same place, the only home my 6-year-old son had ever known, we packed up our lives and moved into my brother’s one-bedroom apartment. His living room became our new "home."
I felt like a complete failure. The guilt, shame, and sadness were crushing. It would have been so easy to spiral into despair. But instead, I made a decision. I was going to focus on what I still had, instead of everything I had lost.
Here’s what I found to be grateful for:
A safe place to stay: my brother welcomed us with open arms.
A peaceful co-parenting relationship: my ex and I were doing our best for our son.
A fresh start: I had a blank canvas to rebuild my life.
Even though things weren’t perfect, I held on to these small blessings. And as I focused on the good, things slowly started to improve. By the time we moved in with my brother, I had secured a temporary job after 10 months of unemployment. The pay wasn’t great, but it was better than nothing, and I was grateful for the opportunity. Since I didn’t have rent to pay, I was able to start saving money. I missed having my own washer and dryer, but the laundromat a block away got the job done.
And then? That temporary job turned into a career I love.
The time I spent at my brother’s place allowed me to save money, and eventually, I was able to rent a beautiful apartment, one that I furnished exactly how I wanted.
Gratitude didn’t change my circumstances overnight, but it changed my perspective, and that changed everything. Instead of feeling like I was drowning, I started to see my situation as a new beginning—I had a chance to create something beautiful.
Gratitude Is Not About Perfection
Practicing gratitude doesn’t mean pretending everything is fine when it’s not. It’s about choosing to focus on what’s going well, even when life feels heavy. When you feel overwhelmed, it’s usually because your attention is locked onto everything that’s going wrong. The moment you shift to gratitude, you create space for more good things to flow in.
If you’re struggling to find something to be grateful for, start small. The things we take for granted—walking, talking, even breathing—are privileges that not everyone has, and they’re absolutely worth our gratitude.
When I’m feeling down, I pull myself out of a funk with a gratitude list. Sometimes I write down 10 things, and I feel better. Other days, I’ve filled entire sheets, listing 116 things I’m grateful for, before I feel a shift in my mood, but it’s always there, eventually.
Even if it takes a while, I always renew the realization that no matter how hard things feel, I still have so much.
How to Start a Daily Gratitude Practice
A gratitude practice is simple, but its impact is life-changing. Here are three steps to get you started:
Write down three things you’re grateful for every day. Do this in the morning to set a positive tone, or at night to reflect on the good moments. Example: “I’m grateful for my health, the sunshine today, and the love of my friends.”
Feel the gratitude deeply. Don’t just list things, immerse yourself in the feeling of appreciation. Imagine how your life would be without them, and let that amplify your gratitude. Example: Instead of stopping at “I’m grateful for my home,” elaborate on this feeling with “I feel safe and at peace in my space, and I love the warmth it provides.”
Share your gratitude with others.
One of my favorite practices is sharing three things I’m grateful for with my son before bed. We started when he was 4 years old. Now at 12, I’m amazed at how naturally gratitude flows from him—it’s a habit that has become part of who he is.
How Gratitude Changes Everything
When you focus on gratitude, your perspective shifts. You stop dwelling on what’s wrong and start noticing what’s right. And the more you focus on the good, the more good things seem to come your way. Even on the hardest days, there’s always something to appreciate, even if it’s just the fact that you made it through the day.
Start small, be consistent, and see how your outlook—and then your life—changes over time. Gratitude Isn’t Just a feel-good practice, it’s a game-changer. Gratitude teaches you to appreciate the journey, even when it’s messy. It reminds you that even in the darkest times, there is always light. And most importantly, it creates space for joy, peace, and self-love to grow.
Gratitude is powerful, but it’s only one piece of the self-love puzzle. Even with the best mindset, it’s hard to thrive if you’re surrounded by negativity.
The people you engage with, the environments you spend time in, and even the content you consume all influence how you feel about yourself. If you’re constantly absorbing negativity—whether from relationships, social media, or self-doubt—it can drown out the progress you’re making.
In Part 6, we’ll explore how to intentionally create a positive environment that nurtures your growth, strengthens your confidence, and reinforces your self-worth. Because self-love isn’t just about what you tell yourself: it’s about what you allow into your space.
How do you know if your environment is draining your energy?
What small shifts can make a big impact on your mindset?
How do you protect your peace while maintaining boundaries?
We’ll cover all this and more in the next post. Stay tuned!
